Lasts < Firsts

Today is the last full day that I get to spend with Elder Fitisemanu and we spent it driving to Utah. With the  drive, it gave us both a lot of time to really ponder on what was going to happen over the course of these 2 years.

I've realized that theres a lot of lasts for us. Last hug, last kiss, last time holding hands, last a lot of things. Then theres our first...our first step to eternity<3 Which totally outweighs the Lasts. I feel so guilty for crying over not having the physical aspects of him with me like I'm used to:'( I knew this day would come and tried my best to prepare for it but let me just say...theres absolutely no way you can prepare for it.

Friends and family have been calling and texting me over the past few days to make sure I'm doing okay and I am so grateful for the love & support<3 It's sucks because when people ask me how I'm doing I choke up and just start bawling all over again. Lol So if you're reading this please don't ask me until you see a blog post of me saying that the coast is all clear and my tears have runned dry. Haha...seriously.

I know that this is the hardest part...is letting him go. I guess I need to get used to not having the freedom of    calling him when I get out of work and school or texting him when I feel like it. Thats it. But I'm ready for this whether I can handle it or not...I'm ready to take this on because like my Elder says, "This is for our future baby<3" :')


Tomorrow will be hard and so will the next few weeks, months, year, etc Lol Jk. I know that once I get over this it'll all be better:) There is no one else I'd give this guy up to than the Lord<3