I got a letter from my Elder today and he wrote about this past Sunday's Fireside. He said that the speaker asked all the missionaries a few questions and to stand if it applied to them. It went like this:
"How many of you here like the MTC food?"
*Kalani didn't stand Lol
"How many of you think that the food will get better once you get out in the mission field?"
*Kalani stood up
"How many of you have gotten Dear John'ed?"
*Kalani, of course stayed seated :)"
"And my last question, how many of you have that 'special someone' waiting for you back home?"
*Kalani stood up...proudly, duh! ;)
Then the guy went out
to say "You must be the same missionaries who think that the food will get better in the mission field."
I was soooo mad! Kalani went on to write how sad he felt and how he wanted to punch the guy in the face. Lol But apparently that guy got Dear John'ed and so his whole talk was based on why there should be no such thing as Missionary Girlfriends/Boyfriends. He told all the missionaries that come Monday, which was the next day, that whatever they got in the mail was going to determine their relationship with that special person. Kalani told me he was so nervous that he didn't even want to check the mail</3 I dont know why he listened to that fwam! Annoying! But anyways he built up the courage to finally do it and when he got there he just started crying. Why? Well because he got my 1 month package that I sent:') I was so upset that I missed the deadline on Saturday because that was when he hit 1 month remember? and the place I dropped it off do same day delivery to the MTC. Anyways, since they already delivered for that day they told me he would for sure get it on Monday. So what are the odds right? I was making a fit because he didnt get it on his actual 1 month, but little did I know he needed it more on Monday:') While other missionaries were worried about their letters from their girlfriend, analyzing every word they said, mine got a package like a boss! Lol And all his worries went away<3 God truly does work in mysterious ways* So now I want to write some things you should NEVER tell a missionary girlfriend or even her missionary!
1. Don't ever tell her that it's not going to work out! Especially if you JUST met her. Judging her off the bat is not helpful and she will either walk away in tears or be like me and punch you in the face.
2. Don't already assume that you know her and then tell her a story of how you were Dear John'ed or how you know someone who has. Frankly, she could care less and that is the last story she would ever want to hear and that would be the last words you would ever say to her.
3. Don't tell her that she's not going to last or that she will find someone else! First off, you don't know her heart and its capabilities. You are selfish if you tell her this. It's offensive!
4. Don't tell her that things will change between the both of them. It's not like she hasn't heard this before and in her eyes, the only way things will change, if BY SOME FREEKIN MIRACLEdo, it will only change by growing more.
5. Don't ever give her scenarios"If another dream guy comes along, and he steals your heart, will you still wait for your missionary!?" I cannot tell you how many "What If's" questions I have gotten, even before Kalani left! If another guy comes along, whoopdeedoolah! That will never change my feelings for my missionary<3 and I will never give any other guy the chance to 'sweep me off my feet.'
6. Don't ever tell her that she needs to write off her missionary because she's a distraction. You have no idea what he or she needs and you have no idea what their situation may be so shaaaddddap.
This leads me to my next statement
7. Don't, I repeat, DON'T, ever tell her that she's a distraction! You don't know one thing about their relationship so please keep this comment to yourself.
You're probably thinking "Well rules are rules and these types of girls are so naive and blah blah blah" Like I said, we've heard it before. I read a talk on Missionary Girlfriends and if its good to have them or not and this gentlemen said: "I don't believe in missions having missionaries break up with their special person. Infact, I believe in missionaries praying together with their 'other half' and asking God to help them figure out their next move. The real question is this: 'What makes you a better missionary? Staying with her and having her support or leaving her and moving on?'" So ask your missionary this and I hope you think about this in a whole new light. I'm sorry if I offended anyone, I just needed to vent it out somewhere. All I ask is that you please reconsider your advice to us missionary girlfriends before you start handing them out. If you're not here to support us let us know and we will be glad to remove you from our lives:)
Every story is different, I understand that and I understand that some of these relationships really don't work out but I know with all my heart that mine will. Call me naive, gullible, stupid whatever...but when that day comes where I walk hand in hand out of the La'ie Temple sealed to my best-friend, Elder Fitisemanu, you're going to think back and say "Wow, she was right." <3