Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Missionary Girlfriends*

I got a letter from my Elder today and he wrote about this past Sunday's Fireside. He said that the speaker asked all the missionaries a few questions and to stand if it applied to them. It went like this:

"How many of you here like the MTC food?"
*Kalani didn't stand Lol

"How many of you think that the food will get better once you get out in the mission field?"
*Kalani stood up

"How many of you have gotten Dear John'ed?"
*Kalani, of course stayed seated :)"

"And my last question, how many of you have that 'special someone' waiting for you back home?"
*Kalani stood up...proudly, duh! ;)

Then the guy went out
to say "You must be the same missionaries who think that the food will get better in the mission field."

RUDEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was soooo mad! Kalani went on to write how sad he felt and how he wanted to punch the guy in the face. Lol But apparently that guy got Dear John'ed and so his whole talk was based on why there should be no such thing as Missionary Girlfriends/Boyfriends. He told all the missionaries that come Monday, which was the next day, that whatever they got in the mail was going to determine their relationship with that special person. Kalani told me he was so nervous that he didn't even want to check the mail</3 I dont know why he listened to that fwam! Annoying! But anyways he built up the courage to finally do it and when he got there he just started crying. Why? Well because he got my 1 month package that I sent:') I was so upset that I missed the deadline on Saturday because that was  when he hit 1 month remember? and the place I dropped it off do same day delivery to the MTC. Anyways, since they already delivered for that day they told me he would for sure get it on Monday. So what are the odds right? I was making a fit because he didnt get it on his actual 1 month, but little did I know he needed it more on Monday:') While other missionaries were worried about their letters from their girlfriend, analyzing every word they said, mine got a package like a boss! Lol And all his worries went away<3 God truly does work in mysterious ways* So now I want to write some things you should NEVER tell a missionary girlfriend or even her missionary!


1. Don't ever tell her that it's not going to work out! Especially if you JUST met her. Judging her off the bat is not helpful and she will either walk away in tears or be like me and punch you in the face.

2. Don't already assume that you know her and then tell her a story of how you were Dear John'ed or how you know someone who has. Frankly, she could care less and that is the last story she would ever want to hear and that would be the last words you would ever say to her.

3. Don't tell her that she's not going to last or that she will find someone else! First off, you don't know her heart and its capabilities. You are selfish if you tell her this. It's offensive!

4. Don't tell her that things will change between the both of them. It's not like she hasn't heard this before and in her eyes, the only way things will change, if BY SOME FREEKIN MIRACLEdo, it will only change by growing more.

5. Don't ever give her scenarios"If another dream guy comes along, and he steals your heart, will you still wait for your missionary!?" I cannot tell you how many "What If's" questions I have gotten, even before Kalani left! If another guy comes along, whoopdeedoolah! That will never change my feelings for my missionary<3 and I will never give any other guy the chance to 'sweep me off my feet.'

6. Don't ever tell her that she needs to write off her missionary because she's a distraction. You have no idea what he or she needs and you have no idea what their situation may be so shaaaddddap.

This leads me to my next statement
7. Don't, I repeat, DON'T, ever tell her that she's a distraction! You don't know one thing about their relationship so please keep this comment to yourself.

You're probably thinking "Well rules are rules and these types of girls are so naive and blah blah blah" Like I said, we've heard it before. I read a talk on Missionary Girlfriends and if its good to have them or not and this gentlemen said: "I don't believe in missions having missionaries break up with their special person. Infact, I believe in missionaries praying together with their 'other half' and asking God to help them figure out their next move. The real question is this: 'What makes you a better missionary? Staying with her and having her support or leaving her and moving on?'" So ask your missionary this and I hope you think about this in a whole new light. I'm sorry if I offended anyone, I just needed to vent it out somewhere. All I ask is that you please reconsider your advice to us missionary girlfriends before you start handing them out. If you're not here to support us let us know and we will be glad to remove you from our lives:)

Every story is different, I understand that and I understand that some of these relationships really don't work out but I know with all my heart that mine will. Call me naive, gullible, stupid whatever...but when that day comes where I walk hand in hand out of the La'ie Temple sealed to my best-friend, Elder Fitisemanu, you're going to think back and say "Wow, she was right." <3


21 comments:

  1. A-to the freaking-MEN!! :) These words are the exact thoughts I've had for the last year. Thank You!!

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  2. I LOVEEEEE THIS!:) I'm exactly the same way! we must be from Hawaii! Hehe:) but seriously though that guy was so rude! I can just imagine your elder and what he was feeling! Cuz I kno my elder would be the same exact way sooooo nerve wrecked checking the mail!:( but I'm glad your package got in right on time:) happy one month sis:) I wish that no missionary would get dear johned but I guess everyone is different!:( but hate when people try to add in their two-sense with this whole process! stay strong and come back soon:) hehe! Love yah!

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    1. hahaha no for reals sis. I think I'm gonna go back and edit this post and make it sound...nicer? Lol But no worries, it only matters if we listen and i dont. haha love ya sis and see you at home! <3

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  3. Dang straight. People can be just mean sometimes and all those things you don't say to a missionary girlfriend, prepare to hear it for the full two years because it never goes away. Just ignore it and remember how much you two love each other. It's funny because my boyfriend got a speech very similar to that one in the MTC. Just keep going girl! You are doing great! Congrats on the one month mark!

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    1. You're right:) Thank you so much sky! PS. You needa start a blog so that I can follow you! Lol

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  4. Ok so I stumbled across this blog and I know you don't know me or me know you....but you said everything perfect!!!! Thank you so much for saying that!!! I am a missionary girlfriend and I have been putting up with crap from a lot of people since I started dating my boyfriend 2 and a half years ago and the crap is not slackin off anytime soon....so thank you for saying that! And thank you for putting up this blog because I really needed this!!!!

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    1. Not A Problem Dear! I Just Hope To Reach Out To Girls Who Are Going Through The Same Thing As Me. :) Keep Your Chin Up! If Its Not Eternal Than Its Not Important <3 Xoxos From Hawaii*

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  5. i randomly came across this & it's perfect. very well said! :]

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  6. First off, I must thank you for writing this blog. I just stumbled across it tonight, and reading it, I keep choking up. My missionary just left a month ago the day after tomorrow. I've enjoyed reading your blog, because I am going through some similar things as you were (not the same, just similar :))

    Second off, thank you for that list of things to never say to a missionary girlfriend. I've been told scary stories, since I started dating my missionary, and it makes me smile to read while you "vent" in support of supporting MG's :)

    Keep on being strong! I know that you can last, I am more than positive!

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    1. Kylie <3 Thank You So Much For Your Sweet Words! I Made This Blog In Hopes That I Can Reach Out To Girls Who Are Going Through The Same Thing As Me :') Its Always Nice To Know That There Are Other People Who Know EXACTLY What Youre Going Through & Feeling How Youre Feeling <3 Please Let Me Know If You Need Anything! I Promise That Things WILL Get Easier. The First Month Is Always The Hardest. But Before You Know It He'll Be Going On 10 Months Like Mine :') <3 So Excited For Your Journey! Lots Of Blessings Await You! <3 Xoxos!

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  7. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this! My missionary heard the same things in the MTC and it broke his heart AND mine! They are sometimes so harsh on those young men, I can't take it. You are amazing and your missionary, can't wait to see the blog when he gets back and you two have made it through because you will!! ♥

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    1. Thank You Soooo Much <3 :') Sweetest Anon Post Ever! Love You, Whoever You Are! Xoxos

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  8. I couldnt have said it better myself!!! Thank you!!! I stumbled across this and it is so nice to know that I am not alone! My missionary just left a month ago, and its been hard adjusting to not having him all the time! i miss him. But seriously amen to everything you said! And all those negative people just dont understand! Hope you're staying strong!!!!
    :))

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  9. So this afternoon I was looking through pinterest and happened to stumble onto a link that lead me here. I cannot stress to you enough how much this helped! My boyfriend is filing his papers and will possibly leave within the next 5 months and I will be going off to BYU Idaho. I have had so many people say all of the things you said to not say to missionary girlfriends. Some people can be so rude but no matter what others say, I plan on waiting for my missionary And I will prove them wrong. I'm so glad I stumbled onto your blog! Thank you so much! And hang in there! I have had family go on missions and its surprising how fast 2 years fly by especially when you know an eternity lies ahead :) Best of luck!

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  10. Thank you for this. I don't know how many times people have judged me immediately when they find out that I'm waiting for my best friend. Elder Rich and I never dated before his mission, but over the past 15 months we have become closer than we've ever been. The longer he's gone, the more attached I have grown toward him(though I've always been in love with him) and the more attached he's grown toward me. If anything, his mission has finally helped him to see me in a different light. He and I have both grown and changed, but change is good.
    I'm waiting for a missionary. I'm a missionary girl and ridiculously proud of it. I don't care what other people say, if two people truly want something to work out and it is God's will, it will. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

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  11. Seriously LOVED your "don'ts" on the list. They made me laugh out loud! Thank you so much for writing this; it makes me feel a lot better about me and my missionary's relationship. We were together for two years before he left on his mission and I cannot tell you how irritated I get when people think I am a distraction. I know for a fact I would be more of a distraction if we weren't together. The blog is lovely and I enjoyed reading it so much! :-)

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  12. what is the article you read about missionary girlfriends?

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  13. Awwwww this is really inspiring . I'm a missionary girlfriend too and this just really made my night. Thank you for sharing this with all of us :) I hope you marry your missionary when he returns ((:

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  14. Thank you so much for this post! Seriously. My boyfriend has been on his mission for 8 months now, and everyone has told me that I won't make it, but they don't know me or my boyfriend or our relationship. We have been together for 3 1/2 years now, and I don't even LOOK at other guys. No one has turned my head, and no one will. I love my missionary. And I had a roommate my first semester in college that told me to take my pictures of him off my wall because "It'll help you not miss him." Oh no. It's frustrating when they say that missionary girlfriends are "distractions" My boyfriend said that he wouldn't be able to keep going if it wasn't for me. He said that I inspire him and that without me writing to him that he would struggle so much more, he's said multiple times that I am what is keeping him going, and that he feels like I'm the only person that he can really ever talk to. Some people don't understand, but thank you for posting this! It's nice to know that there are others who DO understand!
    I wish you the best with you and your missionary! :D

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